The People of the CrazyHouse may think that you're all cute and sweet, but I know better. I just need to get a few things off my hairy chest.
1. So I know it gives you immense pleasure when you jump on the couch when the People aren't looking. But FYI, it won't last long. THEY KNOW.
2. And for the record, I wouldn't get so cocky about the toy hogging thing either. First of all, they're MINE. I'm only sharing them with you because I have to. And just to speed things along, let me connect the dots for you. SheWhoSmellsPretty won't let EITHER of us play with them if you keep being a brat about taking them. So chill.
... which brings me to my next point.
3. EvilSpawn, I'm NOT here for your personal chewing pleasure. I'll admit, it's fun to throw you around the backyard. But dude, when I'm done...listen to the fangs. They'll tell you what you need to know. And that move you do... when you lie on your back and look like you're speedskating upside-down, while simultaneously sounding like a bear in heat... well, you kinda look like a dork.
4. I'm not sure how much registers in that puppy brain of yours, but do try to remember this ...
I run faster. I'm also stronger. And really... I know more than you do. I've been doing these moves for years. I rule your face!
I can whup your baby ass anytime I want to.
Now that we've got that clear, here's a few tips:
1. When you see the People and you're happy. Hold the pee IN. Otherwise, I won't be seen in public with you.
2. When SheWhoSmellsPretty looks at you and says "Nori", she means you. Not me. You'll learn soon enough to run over every time she opens her mouth on the off chance she does mean you but said the wrong name...again.
3. HeWhoRivalsUsForBestFermentedSalamiGas likes to hug. Be a dog. Deal with it.
Peace out,
Nori
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