I want my flip flops back

I do this EVERY summer. I forget to stock up on bandaids and then I go and try to run around the city willy nilly in new sandals that haven't been broken in. But these...these were supposed to be comfy. These weren't really "sandals" made of fake leather that needed to be worked in. No... these were supposed to be like my old jelly shoes.

OKAAAY. Forget the CUTE. Forget the comfy. Forget the willy AND the nilly. All I can manage is a pathetic hobble on my toes.

These shoes are savagely raping the tender soles of my feet!

I feel so betrayed.